{"id":1019,"date":"2015-05-27T02:20:32","date_gmt":"2015-05-27T09:20:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/?p=1019"},"modified":"2015-05-27T02:18:42","modified_gmt":"2015-05-27T09:18:42","slug":"searches-at-the-spaceport","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/searches-at-the-spaceport\/","title":{"rendered":"Searches at the Spaceport"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>At the end of every space mission the astronauts are debriefed. If they are clear of any space fungus their pants are then returned to them.<br \/>\nReferring to the invasive space fungus as &#8220;space mushrooms&#8221; is completely inaccurate. A sentient fungus which loves pants is no mushroom.<\/p>\n<p>I was promised a moon colony, a Mars colony, and a one world government.<br \/>\nAnd instead of this, every time I reenter Earth&#8217;s jurisdiction, even after only leaving for a day or two, I have to surrender my pants.<\/p>\n<p>It is sad that this is the only thing the governments of Earth cooperate on. The continual harassment of those who explore space.<br \/>\nI tell you, it makes the space fungus seem reasonable. For what have they ever done to us? Other than seek warmth?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At the end of every space mission the astronauts are debriefed. If they are clear of any space fungus their pants are then returned to them. Referring to the invasive space fungus as &#8220;space mushrooms&#8221; is completely inaccurate. A sentient fungus which loves pants is no mushroom. I was promised a moon colony, a Mars colony, and a one world government. And instead of this, every time I reenter Earth&#8217;s jurisdiction, even after only leaving for a day or two, I have to surrender my pants. It is sad that this is the only thing the governments of Earth cooperate&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Searches at the Spaceport","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u13S-gr","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4162,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/hard-times-grade-8\/","url_meta":{"origin":1019,"position":0},"title":"Hard times grade 8","author":"David Raffin","date":"October 6, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Something was up. In class. Civil war week. There was a sub and that meant days of watching civil war movies on a television wheeled into class. A few minutes of fine tuning and then the lights go out. We sit together in the darkened room as brother fights brother.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":675,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/movies-for-the-seeing-impaired\/","url_meta":{"origin":1019,"position":1},"title":"Movies for the seeing impaired","author":"David Raffin","date":"April 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Jodi: Sometimes your facial expressions don't match the situation. At all. Me: Oh, no, they are always correct expressions. We are just out-of-sync. *** Seeing a movie at the Capitol theater a week or so ago. The movie starts. WB logo comes on screen. A woman's voice says, \"LOGO, CENTER\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Movies&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Movies","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/review\/movies\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":795,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/sweat-the-backstory\/","url_meta":{"origin":1019,"position":2},"title":"Sweat the backstory","author":"David Raffin","date":"November 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"At night it falls as low as 17\u00b0. The sweater I am wearing comes from near the beach. It was knitted by hand by a lady with MS. She owned a large cat who would sit on the piles of sweaters for sale. I don't have stories for all my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Info&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Info","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/info\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2728,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/a-notice-from-mr-raffin-regarding-his-availability-at-this-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":1019,"position":3},"title":"A notice from Mr Raffin regarding his availability at this time","author":"David Raffin","date":"October 13, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Let\u2019s face it if you\u2019re here it means only one thing you were caught in a filter. And yes those filters are only there because we are surrounded by highway bandits. I know they don\u2019t look like what you\u2019re thinking of when you think about bandits. For one thing they\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Personal&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Personal","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/personal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/image.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/image.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/image.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1788,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/classic-comedy-explained-for-today\/","url_meta":{"origin":1019,"position":4},"title":"Classic comedy explained for today","author":"David Raffin","date":"December 1, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Marx Brothers Four brothers find their identities through wildly exaggerated cultural appropriation. One is an unscrupulous Italian, One is an unruly and frenetic Mute pushing himself in everyone\u2019s personal space, One is a wise-cracking Southern Gentleman of no means, and the other appears normal which is the joke. Sometimes there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":995,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/circles\/","url_meta":{"origin":1019,"position":5},"title":"Circles","author":"David Raffin","date":"May 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The test says \u201cDo not spend too much time on any one question. If you do not know the answer, guess. Guessing will not be held against you.\u201d How can they say guessing will not be held against you? It makes no sense. The questions are multiple choice. If you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/primitiveentertainment.files.wordpress.com\/2015\/05\/celebration-of-l.jpg?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1019"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1020,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1019\/revisions\/1020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}