{"id":1950,"date":"2019-05-29T13:59:08","date_gmt":"2019-05-29T20:59:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/?p=1950"},"modified":"2019-05-29T14:16:44","modified_gmt":"2019-05-29T21:16:44","slug":"tragic-stories-disguised-as-jokes-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/tragic-stories-disguised-as-jokes-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Tragic Stories (disguised as jokes)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Tragic Stories (disguised as jokes)<\/em> is a collection of tales told by a monster to a demanding little girl.<\/p>\n

Monsters are unlucky in love. Cupid explains. Some monsters are closer than others. There is a monster who only dines on one half of any available loving couple, A specialty. You can judge a person by their hat. If you want to protect your children (and see them less) you send them back in time. Hungry lions. The suicide machine built with love. Hate mail. Oscar Wilde judges the beauty pageant.<\/p>\n

A bouquet of thorns. Falsely called the black book.<\/p>\n

Tragic Stories (disguised as jokes). <\/em><\/p>\n

\n

“It is better, in every scenario,<\/strong><\/p>\n

to steal someone’s heart rather than break it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

That is my official stance on theft.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Trust me, I looked at all the scenarios.”<\/strong><\/p>\n

David Raffin<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n

ebook: [amazon template=iframe image&asin=B00S481ULS] print: [amazon template=iframe image&asin=1070428043]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ebook: [amazon template=iframe image&asin=B07L9BNL8H]\u00a0print:\u00a0[amazon template=iframe image&asin=1792668279] <\/p>\n\n\n\n

ebook: [amazon template=iframe image&asin=B07MFR7HSM]\u00a0print:\u00a0[amazon template=iframe image&asin=1793481296]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ebook: [amazon asin=B0080AGLNC&template=iframe image] print:\u00a0[amazon asin=1490919112&template=iframe image]<\/a> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tragic Stories (disguised as jokes) is a collection of tales told by a monster to a demanding little girl. Monsters are unlucky in love. Cupid explains. Some monsters are closer than others. There is a monster who only dines on one half of any available loving couple, A specialty. You can judge a person by their hat. If you want to protect your children (and see them less) you send them back in time. Hungry lions. The suicide machine built with love. Hate mail. Oscar Wilde judges the beauty pageant. A bouquet of thorns. Falsely called the black book. Tragic...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Tragic Stories (disguised as jokes)","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[13,12,2],"tags":[188,121,147,167,136,17,150,155,135,152,18],"class_list":["post-1950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-my-books","category-writing","tag-fable","tag-fiction","tag-humor","tag-humour","tag-love","tag-philosophy","tag-politics","tag-revolution","tag-robots","tag-satire","tag-time-travel"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u13S-vs","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":644,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/the-spectacle-of-modernity-mimes\/","url_meta":{"origin":1950,"position":0},"title":"The Spectacle of Modernity & Mimes","author":"David Raffin","date":"February 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"AKA: The Disquieting. A few years old but never before released. Read just after the writing at a small gathering on Halloween. This story will be in my upcoming book of shorts \"Tragic Stories Disguised as Jokes.\" https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=9s33iNo2_VQ \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/9s33iNo2_VQ\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1060,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/pod-6-a-disquieting-tale\/","url_meta":{"origin":1950,"position":1},"title":"Pod 6: A disquieting tale","author":"David Raffin","date":"June 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"A story about a man and his place in the universe. A story about the many uses of cell phones. A story that asks the philosophical question: What is it that makes a chair? An excerpt from Tragic Stories Disguised as Jokes. \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Image005","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Image005_5-240x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":851,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/love-rejected-from-the-book-tragic-stories-disguised-as-jokes\/","url_meta":{"origin":1950,"position":2},"title":"Love, Rejected (from the book “Tragic Stories Disguised as Jokes”)","author":"David Raffin","date":"March 29, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"My petition for love was denied by the central authority which handles such petitions. It used to be that these standard rejections came by certified mail and were printed in ornate script on fine paper. Today they all come by text message. Still, they carry with them the same tradition.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2587,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/teslas-wings-and-fearsome-things\/","url_meta":{"origin":1950,"position":3},"title":"Tesla’s Wings and fearsome things","author":"David Raffin","date":"March 9, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"The story of Tesla's Wings, from the book Tragic Stories Disguised as Jokes. *** \u201cSomeone Else\u2019s Memories\u201d from the album \u201cThe Politics of Desire\u201d by Revolution Void licensed under Creative Commons Attribution License 3.0. Winner Winner! by Kevin MacLeodLink: https:\/\/incompetech.filmmusic.io\/song\/4630-winner-winner-License: https:\/\/filmmusic.io\/standard-license Aquarium by Kevin MacLeodLink: https:\/\/incompetech.filmmusic.io\/song\/5738-aquariumLicense: https:\/\/filmmusic.io\/standard-license Monkeys Spinning Monkeys\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Podcast"","block_context":{"text":"Podcast","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/podcast\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":505,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/the-stuff-of-monsters-and-love-stories\/","url_meta":{"origin":1950,"position":4},"title":"The stuff of monsters and love stories","author":"David Raffin","date":"December 16, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Every good long-term relationship is built on one of the participants not being eaten by a monster. This is my writing tip for the day. One of the participants in a love story being eaten by a monster, of course, is the stuff of tragedy. Unless it's a comedy. Whenever\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Writing"","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":829,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/representations-of-muhammad-for-charlie-hebdo\/","url_meta":{"origin":1950,"position":5},"title":"Representations of Muhammad [for Charlie Hebdo]","author":"David Raffin","date":"January 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"in, out, and about the box [for Charlie Hebdo] If a cartoonist draws Muhammad, he or she invariably will frame that drawing between four straight lines, a graphic representation of a box. Herein lies a problem: Nobody puts Muhammad in a box. The Muhammad in a Box was a toy\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1950"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1953,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1950\/revisions\/1953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}