![](\"http:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/11130638724_a01b218bc5_b.jpg\")
<\/p>\nThere\u2019s been\u2026 A terrible accident involving a li\u2019l scientist atomic pile kit. The rec-room has been evacuated. It\u2019s projected not to be safe for 100,000 years. I spilled root beer on the kit even though the instructions clearly stated no food no drink near kit. I have removed the aa battery, but it is too late. There is no use crying over spilt uranium.<\/p>\n
The president has come to survey the area. Jesus, he looks like a deer in headlights. One of his handlers proposes we build a concrete wall around the area. To keep out the mutants. And to advertise a casino the president gets kickbacks from. That anti-mutant son of a bitch. He hires them to save money. Luckily he was too close to the pile and he melted down. And sank toward China. Their problem now.<\/p>\n
The president has risen from the sea as a weird prehistoric monster. He demands that he is \u201cthe real green new deal.\u201d The ACLU complained a giant lizard could not be president, but the supreme court ruled otherwise. Typical.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The loyal opposition came. At the seashore. He came out strongly in favor of appeasement. He says giant mutant Republican presidents are not the problem, there have been very good ones. They are regular Joes. Like lobbyists. He says that only corporate acquiescence could help solve the true problem, which is that wealth distribution doesn\u2019t work. And more prisons will help reduce bankruptcies.<\/p>\n
He took some corporate cash. An infusion he shot in his arm like junk. Then he was destroyed by the president, accidentally, as he spoke of the many points of agreement he held with past.<\/p>\n
Then the president smashed an insulin factory with his tail. He said he only respected diabetics who were not diabetic. He was given plenty of time on every major network and every minor network, which he ate right up.<\/p>\n
Shockingly, he won his reelection bid against the only other viable candidate, viability being judged by the top media conglomerates, beating out in a landslide his opponent, the honorable Spuds McKenzie, corporate dog.<\/p>\n
Frito-Lay brought back the Frito Bandito. The people\u2019s attention slowly drifted away.<\/p>\n
It will normalize. Like the market.<\/p>\n
People will pay for the promise of escape.<\/p>\n
The money is in the resistance.<\/p>\n
This is normal now. Say it.<\/p>\n
![](\"http:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/IMG_6673.jpg\")
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There\u2019s been\u2026 A terrible accident involving a li\u2019l scientist atomic pile kit. The rec-room has been evacuated. It\u2019s projected not to be safe for 100,000 years. I spilled root beer on the kit even though the instructions clearly stated no food no drink near kit. I have removed the aa battery, but it is too late. There is no use crying over spilt uranium. The president has come to survey the area. Jesus, he looks like a deer in headlights. One of his handlers proposes we build a concrete wall around the area. To keep out the mutants. And to...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1660,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Those lizard people? Good eggs. 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Burns and Allen did a cross-country whistlestop campaign tour on a private train, performing their live radio show in different\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Info"","block_context":{"text":"Info","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/info\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"http:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/a\/a2\/Gracie_Allen_CBS.JPG","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":751,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/orson-welles-the-begatting-of-the-president\/","url_meta":{"origin":1977,"position":1},"title":"Orson Welles, The Begatting of the President","author":"David Raffin","date":"September 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=XycnNH7y938 https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=psi6sdAUNMA https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=e397ueNLqpw https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=V75dFT_LpFo https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=f65Pgt7eWNA https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=mwquooc8xBw https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=xkoqPee9lmU https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Q3XLvBrhfwI https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=RPZ6zXROYQk","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/XycnNH7y938\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":412,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/obamas-old-hat-the-peace-prize-president\/","url_meta":{"origin":1977,"position":2},"title":"Obama’s old hat (the peace prize president)","author":"David Raffin","date":"September 1, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"(Originally written when the Swede's gave Obama the Peace Prize. The Swedish\u00a0sense\u00a0of humor is odd. For instance, they let the Norwegians give out the Peace Prize. An indication of how seriously they take it.) Obama's old hat by David Raffin President Obama, honored with a Nobel peace prize while fighting\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2400,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/bildungsroman-re-piped\/","url_meta":{"origin":1977,"position":3},"title":"Bildungsroman re-piped","author":"David Raffin","date":"January 14, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt is my sad duty to inform you that the \u2026president\u2026 was shot twenty-five minutes ago and has been transported to the hospital.\u201d The children in Frank\u2019s class cheered. It was not an uncommon occurrence. It happened in other classes. The teacher\u2019s face fell. He scowled at the children and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "My books"","block_context":{"text":"My books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/my-books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/22299004-D62A-4738-BA99-B1236FB817CF.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/22299004-D62A-4738-BA99-B1236FB817CF.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/22299004-D62A-4738-BA99-B1236FB817CF.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/22299004-D62A-4738-BA99-B1236FB817CF.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1274,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/you-cant-tell-people-how-you-perform-a-trick-if-you-also-cant-do-it\/","url_meta":{"origin":1977,"position":4},"title":"You can’t tell people how you perform a trick if you also can’t do it.\u00a0","author":"David Raffin","date":"February 5, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u202a\"The president is a wonderful magician,\" said Mitch McConnell.\u202c \u202a\"How so?\" said Paul Ryan.\u202c \u202a\"When he saws a lady in half he actually saws a lady in half.\"\u202c \u202aAs he said this Mitch McConnell smiled in that creepy way Mitch McConnell smiles.\u202c \u202a\"I'd love to see that!\" said Paul Ryan.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Writing"","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/IMG_1409.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/IMG_1409.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/IMG_1409.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/IMG_1409.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/IMG_1409.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/IMG_1409.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":416,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/non-human-electoral-candidates\/","url_meta":{"origin":1977,"position":5},"title":"“Non-human electoral candidates”","author":"David Raffin","date":"September 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Our old friend Wikipedia provides a page listing non-human electoral candidates, including Pigasus who was a candidate for president of the United States in 1968. Pigasus and the Yippies were charged with disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, and bringing a pig to Chicago. At the trial, defense counsel William Kunstler\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1977","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1977"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1977\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4192,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1977\/revisions\/4192"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1660"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}