{"id":2743,"date":"2021-11-05T13:49:57","date_gmt":"2021-11-05T20:49:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/baked-or-fried-fit-to-be-tied\/"},"modified":"2021-11-05T13:49:57","modified_gmt":"2021-11-05T20:49:57","slug":"baked-or-fried-fit-to-be-tied","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/baked-or-fried-fit-to-be-tied\/","title":{"rendered":"Baked or Fried, fit to be tied"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How many donuts are in a dozen is not variable. Every donut past the mark is a bonus. At sleazy donut shops you can arrange to receive bottomless donuts. But then you have to eat them all, including the holes.<br \/>Stand-up comedy dressed like a doughnut. A talking doughnut. Jelly filled. Sugarcoated. Donut laugh.<br \/>The donut stripper left sprinkles everywhere.<br \/>In states where it is legal to do so, donuts are commonly fried.<br \/>The donut guru smiled and said I, dough-nut, know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"785\" height=\"840\" data-attachment-id=\"2742\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/baked-or-fried-fit-to-be-tied\/img_1163\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_1163.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"785,840\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"img_1163\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_1163.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_1163.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2742\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_1163.jpg 785w, https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_1163-280x300.jpg 280w, https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_1163-768x822.jpg 768w, https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_1163-720x770.jpg 720w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 785px) 100vw, 785px\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How many donuts are in a dozen is not variable. Every donut past the mark is a bonus. At sleazy donut shops you can arrange to receive bottomless donuts. But then you have to eat them all, including the holes.Stand-up comedy dressed like a doughnut. A talking doughnut. Jelly filled. Sugarcoated. Donut laugh.The donut stripper left sprinkles everywhere.In states where it is legal to do so, donuts are commonly fried.The donut guru smiled and said I, dough-nut, know.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[188,127,121,147,167,123,152,64],"class_list":["post-2743","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing","tag-fable","tag-fantasy","tag-fiction","tag-humor","tag-humour","tag-poetry","tag-satire","tag-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u13S-If","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2741,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/donut-proceed-with-caution\/","url_meta":{"origin":2743,"position":0},"title":"Donut proceed with caution","author":"David Raffin","date":"November 5, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"My new children's book \"the happiest cornflake\" will be serialized on the back of\u2026 let's fill our bowls with imagination. Visualize. Stay puffed. Donut be a marshmallow in the resistance. Donut sugarcoat things. Donut go soft. I am General Mills. This is a dry cereal outpost.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_2343.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_2343.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_2343.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/img_2343.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2781,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/peaches-cherries-and-parking-lots-we-built-paradise-buy-dashboard-lights\/","url_meta":{"origin":2743,"position":1},"title":"Peaches, cherries, and parking lots, we built paradise buy dashboard lights","author":"David Raffin","date":"January 31, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"I was not expecting to find a sink pit in the middle of this parking lot. Especially not here at the Kohl's Emporium, the most regal of the hard-core plumbing outlets. Bar none. Sink pits being a pitfall 2 commerce. One would think. My bologna has a surname And the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/cheese.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/cheese.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/cheese.gif?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3508,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/they-built-a-city-in-the-clouds-watch-for-rain\/","url_meta":{"origin":2743,"position":2},"title":"They built a city in the clouds. Watch for rain.","author":"David Raffin","date":"June 3, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Here, There is a hole in my heart. A donut hole. I don\u2019t know how it got there. It is a tourist draw. People come from all around. Some fall in the hole. This only attracts more tourists. Thrill seekers. Donut lovers. Conspiracy theorists. The Hole truth. Nothing. I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/d26cba51-a283-4aec-8b32-d23ffea51c7d-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/d26cba51-a283-4aec-8b32-d23ffea51c7d-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/d26cba51-a283-4aec-8b32-d23ffea51c7d-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/d26cba51-a283-4aec-8b32-d23ffea51c7d-1.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/d26cba51-a283-4aec-8b32-d23ffea51c7d-1.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/06\/d26cba51-a283-4aec-8b32-d23ffea51c7d-1.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":318,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/at-the-existential-sandwich-shop-taste-is-subjective\/","url_meta":{"origin":2743,"position":3},"title":"At the existential sandwich shop, taste is subjective","author":"David Raffin","date":"August 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"In the existential sandwich shop all sandwiches remind you existence is meaningless. But you still have to choose one. If, in the existential sandwich shop, you refuse to make a choice you will be reminded that, also, is a choice. In the existential sandwich shop anything can happen and often\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4180,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/today-avocados-are-toast\/","url_meta":{"origin":2743,"position":4},"title":"Today avocados are toast","author":"David Raffin","date":"October 11, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Using star ratings to rate stars is like using emojis of an avacado to rate avocados. I rate this avacado three and a half avocados.Flip it. I rate this star four avacados. I rate this avocado two stars.It's apples and oranges. Drizzle\ufffc Couple of years ago avocado toast was a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/img_4608.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/img_4608.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/img_4608.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/img_4608.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/img_4608.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/img_4608.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3582,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/slice-of-life-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2743,"position":5},"title":"Slice of life","author":"David Raffin","date":"August 27, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"I asked the mathematician if there was a musical number. We went to four bars seeking a solution.I told the mathematician I had tried to enter a pie eating contest but I was told pie was only for winners.And so I asked the mathematician whether there was a musical number.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/img_5258-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/img_5258-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/img_5258-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/img_5258-1.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/img_5258-1.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2743","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2743"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2743\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2743"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2743"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2743"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}