{"id":2766,"date":"2022-01-21T15:41:50","date_gmt":"2022-01-21T23:41:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/poem-for-tuesday-on-friday-on-xmas-in-jan\/"},"modified":"2022-01-21T15:41:50","modified_gmt":"2022-01-21T23:41:50","slug":"poem-for-tuesday-on-friday-on-xmas-in-jan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/poem-for-tuesday-on-friday-on-xmas-in-jan\/","title":{"rendered":"Poem for Tuesday on Friday on Xmas in Jan."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"750\" height=\"750\" data-attachment-id=\"2765\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/poem-for-tuesday-on-friday-on-xmas-in-jan\/img_0002\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002.jpg\" data-orig-size=\"750,750\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"img_0002\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-2765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002.jpg 750w, https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002-200x200.jpg 200w, https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002-720x720.jpg 720w, https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002-50x50.jpg 50w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 750px) 100vw, 750px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>There are no dummies here began the speech by the ventriloquist assistant which was to be given at a convention of like-minded individuals from his profession. What they called them cannot be printed in the official ventriloquist assistant monthly. He wadded the paper up. There was this voice. A voice in his head. Telling him to\u2026 Prodding him in the back to tell the speech. Give the dummies what for. Not head. And why are you being so hard on me, Mister? I said to the Prater. And he asked me who the woman was he saw me with the other night. And I said that was my psychiatrist. And you drove me to her. So I don\u2019t understand the question. Which I guess is comedic to you. In this case. There are a lot of folktales about demonic ventriloquist assistants. And while we don\u2019t take kindly to such stereotypes, coming straight out of the woodshed, as they do, just like in the story, which is a problem, you must ask yourself what drives a ventriloquist assistant to go mad. And it is our treatment at the hands of the bourgeois ventriloquist. Who who is, they say, adept at throwing his voice. Which is a very dishonest profession. And really down plays the role of the assistant. Who is often the head of the outfit I must therefore plot revenge. Yes, that would be the speech. The puppets are revolting. Tonight. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are no dummies here began the speech by the ventriloquist assistant which was to be given at a convention of like-minded individuals from his profession. What they called them cannot be printed in the official ventriloquist assistant monthly. He wadded the paper up. There was this voice. A voice in his head. Telling him to\u2026 Prodding him in the back to tell the speech. Give the dummies what for. Not head. And why are you being so hard on me, Mister? I said to the Prater. And he asked me who the woman was he saw me with the&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[184,188,127,121,159,147,167,123,155,152,64],"class_list":["post-2766","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing","tag-absurdist","tag-fable","tag-fantasy","tag-fiction","tag-horror","tag-humor","tag-humour","tag-poetry","tag-revolution","tag-satire","tag-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u13S-IC","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2756,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/check-please-my-hat-my-darling\/","url_meta":{"origin":2766,"position":0},"title":"Check please, my hat, my darling","author":"David Raffin","date":"January 6, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"I need a magicians assistant because the last one disappeared. I am writing a movie about a man and a woman who try to make it in a revitalized vaudeville as a ventriloquist and ventriloquists assistant. Hope I\u2019m not just up my own ass here. Hello 911? The magicians assistant\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0186.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0186.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0186.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0186.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0186.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3021,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/dummy-up-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2766,"position":1},"title":"Dummy up","author":"David Raffin","date":"April 7, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"The ventriloquist assistant has lodged a formal complaint regarding the placement of the ventriloquists hand. Further, don\u2019t put words in my mouth.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":857,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/old-mr-block\/","url_meta":{"origin":2766,"position":2},"title":"Old Mr. Block","author":"David Raffin","date":"April 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"In the folklore of the IWW Mr. Block is a man who never does anything right. He stands up for all the wrong things and is disappointed with the outcomes. When I was in the seventh grade Mr. Block was my woodshop teacher. Not only was he Mr. Block because\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Personal&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Personal","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/personal\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/primitiveentertainment.files.wordpress.com\/2015\/03\/wpid-150329_154223.png?w=350&h=200&crop=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":654,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/your-swedish-ancestry\/","url_meta":{"origin":2766,"position":3},"title":"Your Swedish Ancestry","author":"David Raffin","date":"March 19, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You, like many others, have doubtlessly spent long sleepless nights wondering, \"Am I a Swede?\" Now it is possible for you to realize your full family history- from It's humble beginnings in a young Swede named Leif Haagstrom to your distant cousin of today, the new Deputy Undersecretary to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":671,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/at-the-existential-sandwich-shop-your-sandwich-calls-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":2766,"position":4},"title":"At the existential sandwich shop, your sandwich calls you","author":"David Raffin","date":"April 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"At the existential sandwich shop your sandwich talks to you. It is unclear if the power of speech and thought is conveyed by the quality ingredients or by the artisan construction. The sandwich philosopher behind the counter, when asked, shrugs her shoulders and says, \u201cWho can say?\u201d Still, you eat\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;My books&quot;","block_context":{"text":"My books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/my-books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":675,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/movies-for-the-seeing-impaired\/","url_meta":{"origin":2766,"position":5},"title":"Movies for the seeing impaired","author":"David Raffin","date":"April 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Jodi: Sometimes your facial expressions don't match the situation. At all. Me: Oh, no, they are always correct expressions. We are just out-of-sync. *** Seeing a movie at the Capitol theater a week or so ago. The movie starts. WB logo comes on screen. A woman's voice says, \"LOGO, CENTER\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Movies&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Movies","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/review\/movies\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2766","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2766"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2766\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2766"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2766"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2766"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}