{"id":2781,"date":"2022-01-31T02:20:09","date_gmt":"2022-01-31T10:20:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/peaches-cherries-and-parking-lots-we-built-paradise-buy-dashboard-lights\/"},"modified":"2022-01-31T02:20:09","modified_gmt":"2022-01-31T10:20:09","slug":"peaches-cherries-and-parking-lots-we-built-paradise-buy-dashboard-lights","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/peaches-cherries-and-parking-lots-we-built-paradise-buy-dashboard-lights\/","title":{"rendered":"Peaches, cherries, and parking lots, we built paradise buy dashboard lights"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I was not expecting to find a sink pit in the middle of this parking lot. Especially not here at the Kohl’s Emporium, the most regal of the hard-core plumbing outlets. Bar none. Sink pits being a pitfall 2 commerce. One would think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
My bologna has a surname<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

And the Emporium is just a branching arterial of a larger empire headquartered in Saigon. Franchisees available. Which is the go-2 capital now that things have gone down. Here to 4 and 4th with. But I have not crunched the numbers. Everywhere. Nor do I know where all bodies are buried. Here. So please hold your applause. Sit on your hands. Because the sink pit was here first. Officer. Society was built upon it. Later. If it may please the court. And I assure you nothing would be more to my pleasure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Now. It is only natural to slowly slide back into old habits. Pandering. Dear g-d. Habits we have none, I am afraid, was a novelty hit by a singing nun who played the guitar in the 1970s. It was a different time. Difficult. More spiritual. And a little kinky, if truth be told. But it’s all natural. Those pits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Used to be you could go to a barber shop and get a real close shave. Wash that man right out of your hair which smells beautiful kinky, let me get this straight, and close your barn door, storm coming, And now we are sliding slowly into the mud and the detritus between the car wash and the QFC, The lingua franca of commerce and culture. And it sucks. Vultures. But I tell you we can still pull out pops. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Appliance grade <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

We’re not just spinning our wheels here. Until we are. Car after car after car after car. Exhausting. Fruitless. And then it’s too late to pull out. Then we are sunk. A fallacy. And I don’t know how we’ll ever pay that cost. Sunken. And if it sounds like the pits, like we’re doing donuts in the hole again, there is a grocery next-door and it is possible to put a cherry on top. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Impossibly red. If accessible to the Everyman. Which is sexist because you can’t just please any man. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

And while you’re at it throw in the kitchen sink why don’t you. And you will need a towel. We’re all going to clean up in this market place. That’s dirty. And they’re putting in a donut hole. They are putting in a donut hole right there and they say it’s going to bring jobs. They say the jobs are going to go right down there into that sinkhole and it’s going to produce dollars to donuts. With a cherry on top. 4 pops. Market drops. Pop shot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Wiener King and Wiener King International Holdings are ™ of Dr. Richard Lindsay. As is the depiction of the first space f*ck. And naked lunch-break.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Paul and Agnes and the OG Cosplayers are by the honorable Sir Scheck. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was not expecting to find a sink pit in the middle of this parking lot. Especially not here at the Kohl’s Emporium, the most regal of the hard-core plumbing outlets. Bar none. Sink pits being a pitfall 2 commerce. One would think. And the Emporium is just a branching arterial of a larger empire headquartered in Saigon. Franchisees available. Which is the go-2 capital now that things have gone down. Here to 4 and 4th with. But I have not crunched the numbers. Everywhere. Nor do I know where all bodies are buried. Here. So please hold your applause....<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[184,188,147,167,123,152,64],"class_list":["post-2781","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing","tag-absurdist","tag-fable","tag-humor","tag-humour","tag-poetry","tag-satire","tag-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u13S-IR","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3193,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/the-pits-of-piper\/","url_meta":{"origin":2781,"position":0},"title":"The Pits of Piper","author":"David Raffin","date":"November 3, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Rowdy Roddy Piper came to my high school world problems class. 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You know, while I fomented revolution. Located at\u00a0SW 3rd Ave & SW Washington St, Downtown, Sonny Bowl is one of Portland's now ubiquitous parking lot food carts. But\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Info"","block_context":{"text":"Info","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/info\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The number Two, Sonny Bowl, Portland, OR","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/IMG_0294-1024x768.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":723,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/cursed-objects-and-the-purchase-thereof\/","url_meta":{"origin":2781,"position":3},"title":"Cursed objects and the purchase thereof","author":"David Raffin","date":"June 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Not every item at The Old Curiosity Shop is cursed. In fact, those that are we keep safely behind the counter. You may only gaze upon them in the presence of our highly trained staff. 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