{"id":2895,"date":"2022-05-26T02:57:40","date_gmt":"2022-05-26T09:57:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/the-sophisticat\/"},"modified":"2022-05-26T03:12:34","modified_gmt":"2022-05-26T10:12:34","slug":"the-sophisticat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/the-sophisticat\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sophisticat"},"content":{"rendered":"

I got a bit about how I don\u2019t understand the names that the baseball players have these days because they are ethnic in origin and the names are confusing to me because they sound like other words which I do know.
\nStop me if you heard this before. Before I kill again.
\nI am in a relationship with two other comedians but it is rough going because it is a domestic violence situation and sometimes the three of us can really go at it rough. And when we do that people laugh instead of stopping the violence.
\nPeople say our spats are funny but I think it is the cummerbunds more so than the spats. That is what the last fight was about and it was a humdinger. But I do not mean to toot my own horn. Here.
\nWas explaining this to a talent agent right around the time a family came in. Dressed all nice. Fancy. But he sent them away because he didn\u2019t represent dog acts. For ethical reasons. Wouldn’t want the ASPCA on his ass. They had a small Chihuahua and I can tell you show people don\u2019t look too kindly on animal acts. For professional reasons. Could go either way. Also I believe the dog had been squirreled away from Mexico in a caravan and the goings-on on that trip defy description. There was a comedian who tried that once and they arrested him.
\nI don\u2019t want to say more because I don\u2019t want to shoot myself in the foot because I\u2019m a hoofer. I dance around the subject but I strictly follow the union rules. As it pertains to live theater. Accepting the jugglers have to go balls out because it\u2019s part of the act. I know people come to see the dancing girls. The comedian is only there to lend socially redeeming value. It’s all we have to offer.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I got a bit about how I don\u2019t understand the names that the baseball players have these days because they are ethnic in origin and the names are confusing to me because they sound like other words which I do know. Stop me if you heard this before. Before I kill again. I am in a relationship with two other comedians but it is rough going because it is a domestic violence situation and sometimes the three of us can really go at it rough. And when we do that people laugh instead of stopping the violence. People say our...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[184,188,127,121,201,147,167,158,150,152,64],"class_list":["post-2895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing","tag-absurdist","tag-fable","tag-fantasy","tag-fiction","tag-history","tag-humor","tag-humour","tag-magic","tag-politics","tag-satire","tag-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u13S-KH","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":534,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/trolls-never-get-my-goat\/","url_meta":{"origin":2895,"position":0},"title":"Trolls never get my goat","author":"David Raffin","date":"January 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Life is rough \/ if you are a Billy Goat \/ and you are gruff. Then you meet a troll under a bridge \/ and enough is enough \/ for you are king of the ridge. \u00a0","rel":"","context":"In "My books"","block_context":{"text":"My books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/my-books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2571,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/raise-the-barn\/","url_meta":{"origin":2895,"position":1},"title":"Raise the barn","author":"David Raffin","date":"February 28, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"You are the third shiniest star. A dwarf planet. Seen by the naked eye. Warm. Body temperature, running hot. The ultimate coffee substitute. Rough grind. The only body double worth the trouble. Raise the barn. 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