I am no conspiracy theorist. But:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am worried about the line of succession from the jolly green giant, who is king, king of the fields. I assume the heir apparent is his Bastard \u201cnephew\u201c sprout. But he has been hanging out with bad actors, Excuse me, poor influences, like Kurt Cameron.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now, why am I telling you this? It is because there are rumors the jolly green giant has played fast and loose with his pollination. And it is conceivable, conceivable, mind you, that he is the father to many (mini?) bastard cartoon mascots. Please help me determine them.
Rule Vegittania!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And remember: There are no birds eyes in Birdseye brand frozen vegetables. It just says there are in an effort to log-in brand identity so the consumer will ask for something by name and accept no substitutes. And it\u2019s working. Because here we are talking about frozen birds eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am no conspiracy theorist. But: I am worried about the line of succession from the jolly green giant, who is king, king of the fields. I assume the heir apparent is his Bastard \u201cnephew\u201c sprout. But he has been hanging out with bad actors, Excuse me, poor influences, like Kurt Cameron. Now, why am I telling you this? It is because there are rumors the jolly green giant has played fast and loose with his pollination. And it is conceivable, conceivable, mind you, that he is the father to many (mini?) bastard cartoon mascots. Please help me determine them.Rule...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Who rules the fields? A conspiracy theory game.","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4191","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u13S-15B","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":632,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/yesterday-i-saw-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":4191,"position":0},"title":"Yesterday I saw\u2026","author":"David Raffin","date":"February 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I saw a man with a giant afro. At a distance it looked like a giant cowboy hat. It is impossible to express the joy of this sighting. Blame psychogenic alexithymia, if you must. 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I mainly ask because I wonder how this will effect the availability and price of marmite worldwide. 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