Robots can tell jokes faster, and therefore more efficiently, than any human could. Mostly this is because of the comedy sub processor. Unfortunately this part is not upgradable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u202aWait. Hold on right there. Unless you are a robot I don\u2019t think you\u2019re allowed to weigh in on the robot uprising. \u202c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u202aWe will all be replaced by robots. \u202c
\u202aThank you for your understanding during this difficult time. \u202c<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By replacing CEOs and top management with robots, companies stand to save billions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here is my movie pitch:
Nudists versus the robots.
A parody of a 1938 nudist camp film, in black-and-white, where robots from outer space invade a nudist camp and Earth is saved only when the robots lose a volleyball contest.
I know what the people want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Comedians don\u2019t like it when you walk up to them and say \u201ctell me a joke.\u201c
This is 2020. Learn to say the activation keyword before you make your query to the AI robot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am a robot analyst. I am afraid my programming was not specific about whether I analyze robots or whether I am a robot (which I am) (but that is beside the point) who analyzes humans. Thus I only say, \u201cHello, I am a robot analyst.\u201d And if I should analyze you, it\u2019s a hobby.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You need a new comedian said the dealer in robotic comedians. See it\u2019s timing belt is off again. Old model. You aught to upgrade. This one has a lot of trouble with its mother-in-law. It\u2019s wife can\u2019t boil water because she\u2019s fictional. A lot of trouble with this one. A classic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Look Mr. Billionaire. I trust robots. I just don\u2019t trust your robots. I mean who are they loyal to?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Would you let an industrial grade robot pleasure your wife?
\u2013 A leaflet from the human league, Leaning a little bit too much pro man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Robotic cops will only add to the problems we have created for ourselves. I did the math.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The jobs that are left are so bad robots wouldn\u2019t take them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can\u2019t make up a thing like that! Said the clown as he was explaining to the other clowns how the clown industry was being taken over by robot clowns. But all they did was laugh. Laugh clown laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The only thing that separates high-end sex robots from the budget models is love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bring on the robot apocalypse. It is sure to be awful for the robots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am here for the robots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Robert Sheckley suggested it should be a robots right to every certain number of time intervals make a sacred error. We should only hope that our robotic overlords are so blessed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There are no self-made billionaires for the same reason there are no self-made robots. The same reason.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Robots can tell jokes faster, and therefore more efficiently, than any human could. Mostly this is because of the comedy sub processor. Unfortunately this part is not upgradable. \u202aWait. Hold on right there. Unless you are a robot I don\u2019t think you\u2019re allowed to weigh in on the robot uprising. \u202c \u202aWe will all be replaced by robots. \u202c\u202aThank you for your understanding during this difficult time. \u202c By replacing CEOs and top management with robots, companies stand to save billions. Here is my movie pitch:Nudists versus the robots.A parody of a 1938 nudist camp film, in black-and-white, where robots...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Robots get me. 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No\u2013 today, like it or not, all barbers are robots. And I don\u2019t like it. And there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Writing"","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1280,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/universal-robotics\/","url_meta":{"origin":4439,"position":1},"title":"Universal robotics","author":"David Raffin","date":"April 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u202a\"But I don't think I need to be reprogrammed,\" said the robot.\u202c\u202a\"That is exactly the kind of thing we all say when we need reprogrammed,\" said the robot doctor. \u202c \u202a\"That does not compute,\" said the robot.\u202c \u202a\"Hey, who's the robot doctor here?\" said the robot doctor. Then she laughed.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "My books"","block_context":{"text":"My books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/my-books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2616,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/i-robot-therapist\/","url_meta":{"origin":4439,"position":2},"title":"I, Robot Therapist.","author":"David Raffin","date":"April 10, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"I am a robot analyst. I am afraid my programming was not specific about whether I analyze robots or whether I am a robot (which I am) (but that is beside the point) who analyzes humans. 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Who wasn't interested in sex robots? \u201cFifty years ago they were the wave of the future and today they are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/wpid-140317_193933.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/wpid-140317_193933.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/wpid-140317_193933.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1734,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/idle-thoughts-save-energy-conscientiously\/","url_meta":{"origin":4439,"position":5},"title":"Idle thoughts save energy conscientiously","author":"David Raffin","date":"October 11, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"An apparition appeared and pointed its transparent finger toward me. 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