{"id":512,"date":"2013-12-25T13:18:01","date_gmt":"2013-12-25T21:18:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/?p=512"},"modified":"2013-12-26T04:28:40","modified_gmt":"2013-12-26T12:28:40","slug":"the-pudding-of-xmas-past-the-gruel-of-xmas-present","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/the-pudding-of-xmas-past-the-gruel-of-xmas-present\/","title":{"rendered":"The pudding of Xmas past, the gruel of Xmas present"},"content":{"rendered":"

The most famous reindeer of all was Charles Dickens. What a Dickens!
\nHe invented Xmas pudding. Which hardly anybody eats anymore. He started the tradition of orphans eating thin gruel. Now nobody eats gruel. Except orphans. Xmas morning: “Hello gruel world.”
\n(Gruel world is a future theme park for orphans.)
\nThe Dickens, you say!<\/p>\n

\"20131225-131630.jpg\"<\/a>
\n(This festive octopus painting by Richard F. Yates<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The most famous reindeer of all was Charles Dickens. What a Dickens! He invented Xmas pudding. Which hardly anybody eats anymore. He started the tradition of orphans eating thin gruel. Now nobody eats gruel. Except orphans. Xmas morning: “Hello gruel world.” (Gruel world is a future theme park for orphans.) The Dickens, you say! (This festive octopus painting by Richard F. Yates.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[13,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3u13S-8g","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2019,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/moaning-joe\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":0},"title":"Moaning Joe","author":"David Raffin","date":"November 20, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"The day you could no longer buy leaded gasoline was the saddest day for every waiter in America who was dependent upon the \u201cleaded\u201d or \u201cunleaded\u201d joke whenever approaching a table to offer caffeinated or decaf coffee. 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Now the coffee service was a hollow gesture. A mechanistic gruel. But Broadway\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "My books"","block_context":{"text":"My books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/my-books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":224,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/no-excuses\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":2},"title":"No Excuses","author":"David Raffin","date":"July 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"No Excuses by David Raffin\u00a0from the book Rhyme or Treason\u00a0 Dear friend, If ever I use you as a personal reference, please do not tell the interviewer about the time I burned down that orphanage. If you do, at least have the decency not to tell them I laughed. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":498,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/war-on-xmas-bear-of-the-month\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":3},"title":"War on Xmas \/ Bear of the month","author":"David Raffin","date":"December 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I am ashamed that we used chemical weapons in the war on Christmas. First we used laughing gas\u2013then we used crying gas\u2013then we used laughing gas\u2013 then we used crying gas\u2026 In the end, people didn't know whether to laugh or cry. *** Join the bear of the month club.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "My books"","block_context":{"text":"My books","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/my-books\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2766,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/poem-for-tuesday-on-friday-on-xmas-in-jan\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":4},"title":"Poem for Tuesday on Friday on Xmas in Jan.","author":"David Raffin","date":"January 21, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"There are no dummies here began the speech by the ventriloquist assistant which was to be given at a convention of like-minded individuals from his profession. What they called them cannot be printed in the official ventriloquist assistant monthly. He wadded the paper up. There was this voice. A voice\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Writing"","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/category\/books\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/img_0002.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":519,"url":"https:\/\/davidraffin.com\/weblog\/postage-past-due\/","url_meta":{"origin":512,"position":5},"title":"Postage past due","author":"David Raffin","date":"December 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I received an Xmas card saying, \"Don't get trapped in a snow globe.\" Now I am trapped in a snow globe. 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