David Raffin
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The artificial dividing line between artificially drawn time segments is nigh.
“Neigh!” said the horse, who was a well-known neigh-sayer.
And that is the news. Straight from the horse’s mouth.
Books
Why a Dog Barks, a poem
When a dog hears another dog it responds with a hearty round of reciprocal barking.
This is an unbroken chain, as long as there is a dog to answer the call and response.
It is akin to the human game of telephone.
One message is passed on continuously, dog to dog to dog.
The message starts in China, like the flu.
In the fall one dog barks.
It is heard ’round the world.
It is understood only by dogs.
It is an urgent message, spread urgently.
When it gets to the end, it no longer has any meaning.
Sweat the backstory
At night it falls as low as 17°.
The sweater I am wearing comes from near the beach. It was knitted by hand by a lady with MS. She owned a large cat who would sit on the piles of sweaters for sale.
I don’t have stories for all my clothes. Most people are not aware of the backstory of their attire. And they’re not all as nice as that. Best not to ask the origin of my pants.
Object-Subject; or the Subjectivity of Objects and Observations
“I do not care for that man.”
“Why is that?”
“He objectifies women.”
“You mean he turns women into objects?”
“Yes.”
“That’s actually pretty impressive. Can he change objects into women as well, because he would then be a pretty powerful wizard. I can see why people would wish to avoid him.”
The History of Alchemy
Crossing the same stream twice: Held to be impossible.
Turning water into Wine: Purported, failed to be replicated in lab.
Turning Miscellaneous Matter to Gold: Failure. Repeated Failure.
Turning Coal into Diamonds: Successful. Held to a lower worth due to spite.
Turning Objects into Women: Failed. Abject Failure.
I would like to apologize to Alchemists. They have no desire but to enrich themselves, even though the realization of their dream would ultimately devalue gold. But maybe that’s what they want. Maybe they are saying gold is held at too high a value. Those Alchemists are tricky.
True Blue
Some jokes are designated by color. Some jokes are funny because they are blue. Some people think it more funny if that blue joke is true.