A man came into the Mercantile searching for a map. He was looking to light out into the wilderness. The Shopkeep, a woman short on words, stood on a ladder doing inventory. Last thing she needed was a customer to bring her down. She looked at the man. “Get lost!” was what she said. That man’s name was Alfred Packer. No one remembers the shopkeep. She never done nothing of note.
The mattress queen
Her head held high
It was the head
Of a mannequin
The very best one,
Lifted to the sky.
She’d popped it
As the sun
Though this act she did
But how else
This modern era
Wait, stop to consider before you wish on the monkey paw. Might this be another raw deal like our contract with the devil, the genie, and the magic fish? Weird repercussions. Better to just wish everything away! Yes, wish it all aw
There’s been… A terrible accident involving a li’l scientist atomic pile kit. The rec-room has been evacuated. It’s projected not to be safe for 100,000 years. I spilled root beer on the kit even though the instructions clearly stated no food no drink near kit. I have removed the aa battery, but it is too late. There is no use crying over spilt uranium.
The president has come to survey the area. Jesus, he looks like a deer in headlights. One of his handlers proposes we build a concrete wall around the area. To keep out the mutants. And to advertise a casino the president gets kickbacks from. That anti-mutant son of a bitch. He hires them to save money. Luckily he was too close to the pile and he melted down. And sank toward China. Their problem now.
The president has risen from the sea as a weird prehistoric monster. He demands that he is “the real green new deal.” The ACLU complained a giant lizard could not be president, but the supreme court ruled otherwise. Typical.
The loyal opposition came. At the seashore. He came out strongly in favor of appeasement. He says giant mutant Republican presidents are not the problem, there have been very good ones. They are regular Joes. Like lobbyists. He says that only corporate acquiescence could help solve the true problem, which is that wealth distribution doesn’t work. And more prisons will help reduce bankruptcies.
He took some corporate cash. An infusion he shot in his arm like junk. Then he was destroyed by the president, accidentally, as he spoke of the many points of agreement he held with past.
Then the president smashed an insulin factory with his tail. He said he only respected diabetics who were not diabetic. He was given plenty of time on every major network and every minor network, which he ate right up.
Shockingly, he won his reelection bid against the only other viable candidate, viability being judged by the top media conglomerates, beating out in a landslide his opponent, the honorable Spuds McKenzie, corporate dog.
Frito-Lay brought back the Frito Bandito. The people’s attention slowly drifted away.