David Raffin
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Knives Earrings by TinyThunder9 on Etsy.
My friend Phoebe Moore makes these. They are fashionable and deadly, both.
Info
Classic dirty pictures:
dirty pictures 1. J. Vermeer, "Girl With A Pearl Necklace" 2. L. da Vinci, "Lady with an Ermine" 3. J. M. Whistler, "Whistler's MILF"
— Jeremy (@turnerjer) September 21, 2013
“Non-human electoral candidates”
Our old friend Wikipedia provides a page listing non-human electoral candidates, including Pigasus who was a candidate for president of the United States in 1968.
Pigasus and the Yippies were charged with disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace, and bringing a pig to Chicago. At the trial, defense counsel William Kunstler accused the Democratic Party of doing exactly the same thing.
The trial transcript provides this exchange between Kunstler and folk singer Phil Ochs.
MR. KUNSTLER: Did you have any role yourself in that?
THE WITNESS: Yes, I helped select the pig, and I paid for him.
MR. KUNSTLER: Now, did you find a pig at once when you went out?
THE WITNESS: No, it was very difficult. We stopped at several farms and asked where the pigs were.
MR. KUNSTLER: None of the farmers referred you to the police station, did they?
THE WITNESS: No.
MR. FORAN: Objection.
THE COURT: I sustain the objection…
MR. KUNSTLER: Would you state what, if anything, happened to the pig?
THE WITNESS: The pig was arrested with seven people.
MR. KUNSTLER: When did that take place?
THE WITNESS: This took place on the morning of August 23, at the Civic Center underneath the Picasso sculpture.
MR. KUNSTLER: Who were those seven people?
THE WITNESS: Jerry Rubin. Stew Albert, Wolfe Lowenthal, myself is four; I am not sure of the names of the other three.
MR. KUNSTLER: What were you doing when you were arrested?
THE WITNESS: We were arrested announcing the pig’s candidacy for President.
MR. KUNSTLER: Did Jerry Rubin speak?
THE WITNESS: Yes, Jerry Rubin was reading a prepared speech for the pig—the opening sentence was something like, “I, Pigasus, hereby announce my candidacy for the Presidency of the United States.” He was interrupted in his talk by the police who arrested us…
MR. KUNSTLER: Do you remember what you were charged with?
THE WITNESS: I believe the original charge mentioned was something about an old Chicago law about bringing livestock into the city, or disturbing the peace, or disorderly conduct, and when it came time for the trial, I believe the charge was disorderly conduct.
MR. KUNSTLER: Were you informed by a police officer that the pig had squealed on you?
THE WITNESS: Yes.
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[The genesis of this post being a link
from Sara Lachman greatfully acnowledged.]
Obama’s old hat (the peace prize president)
(Originally written when the Swede’s gave Obama the Peace Prize. The Swedish sense of humor is odd. For instance, they let the Norwegians give out the Peace Prize. An indication of how seriously they take it.)
Obama’s old hat
by David Raffin
President Obama, honored with a Nobel peace prize while fighting two wars, appeared to accept his prize. His speech was in some ways a departure from the past but in others it was old hat.
The president stood behind the podium and the microphones, his demeanor professional and dignified. He paused for a moment taking in the occasion and the feel of the room. Then he leaned forward into the mic and spoke.
“My wife is so fat…” he began.
There were moments of awkward silence. Finally the still air was broken by a Swedish dignitary in the audience who shouted out, hesitantly at first but then becoming more bold as he spoke, “How fat is she?”
Obama, replying immediately to cue, replied, “She’s so fat, when she sits around the house she really sits around the house.”
There was another pause filled with silence.
Obama continued, “Thank you Ladies and Germs.” The crowd sat quietly staring at him.
“Seriously though, it’s an honor to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. I flew here from Washington DC, and boy are my arms tired.”
The silence was broken by a rimshot from offstage.
There were scattered coughs and throat clearings.
One Swedish diplomat turned to another and whispered, “I warned you! The U.S. hasn’t refreshed their joke book in years!”
Sometimes I think of Canada and their doughnuts
You know, I have never eaten at a Canadian restaurant. So I have never tasted Canadian food, having never traversed the 250 miles to the border. But I have grown, over time, to suspect that Canadian food is mostly doughnuts. And that hardly seems worth the drive.
I do get the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) here and it is mostly hockey games and doughnut advertisements.
And yes, I understand they also have fries with gravy on them. And doughnuts. But they are proud Canadian doughnuts, no doubt. They don’t call them doughnuts though. They call them “The circle of life.”
And they did name a city “Moose Jaw*” so I have to give them that. Do you have any idea what the per capita consumption of doughnuts is in Moose Jaw?
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* I only know this because I have
a lot of albums by the Guess Who.
This only impresses Canadians.
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I do love The Guess Who. And here is a webpage where you can download a live recording from 1974. Very nice!
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Adaptations to a Modern Age by Scott Steven Erickson
Adaptations to a Modern Age by Scott Steven Erickson
In the interest of disclosure, I sang in the background on some of the tracks on this album.
It is a fine album filled with many instruments, in motion.
It is unusual, like you. It has a song about bananas, which are filled with potassium, not unlike you.
Also, it has a beat and you can dance to it.
If this has not convinced you, you may listen below:
This Post? Totally Gay. Zebedy Colt’s 1969 album.
Let me tell you a story about Zebedy Colt, a man who lived four lives.
1. A child actor in the 1930s who appeared in major Hollywood productions.
2. A stage actor in Broadway theater.
3. An innovator in gay music, releasing an album in 1969 where he sang gay songs straight. Or straight songs gay. Depending on how you look at it.
4. A 1970s actor and director in mostly straight X-rated cinema.
His record was called “I’ll Sing For You.” It was recorded with the London Philharmonic Orchestra, and is really quite good. It can be streamed from this site: Queer Music Heritage which also has more information.
