Got married once at the 24 HOUR CHURCH of ELVIS. A coin operated operation. Store Front. Up the Alley.
Rings provided, nestled in a little plastic egg, vending machine trinket, were 100% cheap plastic. There was no jewel on them, they were only semi-precious, instead they simply stated on the face: “MaDE in CHINa” sloppily engraved. Lasting longer than the marriage. Probably have not decomposed to this day, wherever they have happened off too. I hope they are very happy.
I now pronounce you COWBOY and PRINCESS. 25 cents and you may Kiss Off together.
About a year later I stole that sign. The one out front. Sandwich board. Said: 24 HOUR CHURCH of ELVIS. Thank you very much. I had accomplices. The owner of the Church was a lawyer. The statute having expired.
It was around the block from the X-Ray Cafe. Wasn’t even my idea. No. This was the initiative of a Vietnam Vet Poet. Who, on the stage of the X-Ray Cafe one Monday night, about 2:35 AM, After spending 40 minutes telling us about the night he had to retrieve bodies from a muddy ditch, and he kept sliding back down, suddenly said, “Brothers and Sisters, Let’s steal the sign from the @$# 24 HOUR CHURCH OF ELVIS.”
So five of us went around the block (including the aforementioned poet; Trey, who owned the place, and now owns Voodoo Doughnut (and certainly doesn’t remember this, for legal reasons); A middle-aged transsexual who had been raised in the Ku Klux Klan down south, grandson of the grand dragon. Grandson of the grand dragon. Disowned. Said she lived the first 40 years as a man. And intended to live the next 40 as a woman, and a couple others). To swipe the thing. Only to find it weighed about 800 pounds. And we stole it anyway. Found a shopping cart. Unused. On the street. What are the odds. Got it in the shopping cart. Brute force. Wheeled it around the block. Put it on the stage of the X-ray. So bands could play with it. Left a note for the 24 HOUR CHURCH of ELVIS. That IF they want it back…
Thank you very much, as the king said. With this ring I thee wed.