Current Work in Progress Excerpt

It was nice in the clouds. But for the ear-splitting din. That terrible din. The sound of a horn resounding. Unrehearsed.

An angel approached another.

“Did you blow the vuvuzela horn?” asked the approaching angel.

“Not I!” said the angel holding the vuvuzela horn.

“You know if the horn blows it’s the beginning of the end.”

“How well I know! It’s a big thing to blow the horn. And you can’t practice because you can’t blow the horn. It’s so aggravating.”

“You blew the vuvuzela horn, didn’t you?”

“I did not. All I’m saying is, what will an unrehearsed horn do? No one really knows.”

“It will be the end of all things.”

“No, it will be the beginning of the end of all things. Who knows what form that will take?”

“I heard that horn blow.”

“We’re wasting a lot of time standing here arguing about who blew what.”

The approaching angel just stared at the other angel, who was still holding the horn.

“For the last time, I didn’t blow it.”

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Scenic Cesspools

My book “Scenic Cesspools & other indignities” came out May 1.

Scenic Cesspools

Scenic Cesspools

Scenic Cesspools is a tragi-comedy about work. With just enough time travel. And a bucket of grease which has something to do with free will.
Possibly everything.

Scenic Cesspools is the story of a kid who is pulled into his high school disciplinary office to be chastised for achieving some of the highest test scores in the school while still managing to almost flunk out. Upon graduation, there is nothing left but to venture into the workforce.

Working at a paper mill he discovers the industrial site is an alien landscape filled with green noxious liquids, held in open surface containers, outgassing into the atmosphere. It’s a place where death is as close as a misstep and the air smells a little like poison every day.

He learns that sales is a religion. A religion based on morning motivational meetings, chanting, and believing. If you are “money motivated” all you need do… is believe.

Leasing low income housing is difficult when your supervisors dislike poor people. Especially when they hate deaf people, because “deaf people make trouble.”

He learns there is nothing like selling flowers on the street from the back of a pickup; except selling perfume on the street from a cardboard box, or working for Ralph Nader.

Characters float in and out, sometimes challenging perceptions of time. They are obsessed with nuclear war in Vietnam, sex, Canadians, and unearned heroism.

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Bleach uncorked, Dana Gould

“Every comedian who is good is full of rage, and if you give us an excuse to uncork that it’s going to be like bleach.” -Dana Gould

– From the Dana Gould Hour podcast, episode “YER FEET’S TOO BIG!”

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