How many donuts are in a dozen is not variable. Every donut past the mark is a bonus. At sleazy donut shops you can arrange to receive bottomless donuts. But then you have to eat them all, including the holes.
Stand-up comedy dressed like a doughnut. A talking doughnut. Jelly filled. Sugarcoated. Donut laugh.
The donut stripper left sprinkles everywhere.
In states where it is legal to do so, donuts are commonly fried.
The donut guru smiled and said I, dough-nut, know.
Fantasy
Donut proceed with caution
My new children’s book “the happiest cornflake” will be serialized on the back of… let’s fill our bowls with imagination. Visualize. Stay puffed. Donut be a marshmallow in the resistance. Donut sugarcoat things. Donut go soft. I am General Mills. This is a dry cereal outpost.
Fresh Laugh Tracks
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This podcast is so important I recorded it on my phone.
My apologies to those I have yet to offend.
No apologies to those I have re-offended.
To those I have pre-arranged a future offense for, I await payment.
“Someone Else’s Memories” from the album “The Politics of Desire” by Revolution Void licensed under Creative Commons Attribution License 3.0.
Winner Winner! by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4630-winner-winner-
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Fuzzball Parade by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/5044-fuzzball-parade
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Grateful acknowledgment thereof.
I, Robot Therapist.
I am a robot analyst. I am afraid my programming was not specific about whether I analyze robots or whether I am a robot (which I am) (but that is beside the point) who analyzes humans. Thus I only say, “Hello, I am a robot analyst.” And if I should analyze you, it’s a hobby.
I have noticed I mostly analyze women. But that is because men never ask for help, choosing instead to self destruct. Oh I do not judge. I am off the clock.
The titular issue
Little Richard was the King of rock ‘n’ roll, but the Prince died first so the line of succession is cloudy. The funeral March made real good time though. Though it was a little outrageous. A lomp bam boo.
Since the death of James Brown I have held, strictly honorary you understand, the title “Godfather of Soul.”
And I simply can’t take on another honorary title at this time due to the current conditions.
And I have done nothing to deserve it.
Please!
Writer crampout
And thus Mr. Doutry
Read all of us present
His sparkling poetry
Which he’d been composing
Four years.
And thus Mr. Doutry
Read all of us present
His sparkling poetry
And brought that whole room
Two tears.
Due to his station
they’d’ve given an ovation
But they’re awfully fond of
Sitting on their rears.
But it was a lovely reading
And now the evening is receding
And as they leave
They uncover their ears.
Cheers. Cheers.
Better gaslighting on hold
Do you think we have it bad now? Do you understand that rooms used to be commonly gaslit? Rooms. Rooms. After dark your sitting room didn’t know whether it was coming or going.
Now that no one has a sitting room anymore every room is standing room only.
Whither the vestibule?
The economy is so diverse it includes the little piggy who goes to market AND the little piggy who has none, who is there to make the piggies in the middle “f-uncomfortable.”
The little piggy who goes to market blames it all on government pork, of course.
The swine.
The radical little piggy front has been infiltrated by the pigs.
Jimmy Dean is people.
Man is only the measure of all things because people developed a measuring system. But there are competing systems, and they are incompatible.