David Raffin
RSS - Posts
Bonnie & Clyde. They put her name first. It has a better ring to it. And because they were ahead of their time.
Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey. The position of these names was chosen in a street brawl. A goof off.
Abbott and Costello. Abbott had a gun. He was a straight man. The heavy. The ladies’ man. And he couldn’t take the pressure. In the end, he would become irate when you shouted his own name at him to get his attention. Somehow he made it work. For him.
humour
Head’s Up
The mattress queen
Stood resiliently
Her head held high
It was the head
Of a mannequin
The very best one,
Lifted to the sky.
She’d popped it
Right off
As the sun
Did rise
Though this act she did
Despise
But how else
This modern era
We share
Could she
Head
This body
Of state.
Ho Ho Ho, Away We Go
It is winter, you see, in candy-land, frosting spread everywhere. Snowmen stand at cold attention whilst Miss Velcro is fit to be tied. The city goes crazy all night my friends, long as Mr. Claus goes a-wandering. Yes, Anything goes in candy-land a land where anything can happen.
On Xmas eve Mrs. Claus goes wild. Lets it all come loose. In Candyland. The elves know, but do not tell. All is well, the saying goes, all is swell.
Velvet Loves | The Retro Cartoons of Sveta Shubina | Velvet DeCollete
Russian born Sveta draws bad girls, pinups and sci-fi broads mix humour with sex appeal. We talk halftone comics, inspiration and her favourite jumper.
— Read on velvetd.com/retro-art-sveta-shubina/
Aghast in three rings
Take me to the circus
Where the devils dare
To balance at the precipice
Up there in mid-air
Sitting like a thinker
Ass upon a chair
Did I leave the stove on?
The devil’s mind declared.
Below the clown was crying
Nose up sniffing in the air
Now the daredevil is lying
To himself up on that chair.
Whoa is me, whoa is me!
Said the dog faced boy
Ordinarily without a care
The dancin’ bear watched helplessly
As the Barker was struck
By a falling chair.
A square duel
Here lies the town liar.
Laid low in a comic quagmire.
Caused by lack of social graces.
Got shot at approximately 40 paces.
A fair number, give or take.
If one doesn’t ruminate.
Monkey paw solution
Wait, stop to consider before you wish on the monkey paw. Might this be another raw deal like our contract with the devil, the genie, and the magic fish? Weird repercussions. Better to just wish everything away! Yes, wish it all aw
Those lizard people? Good eggs.
There’s been… A terrible accident involving a li’l scientist atomic pile kit. The rec-room has been evacuated. It’s projected not to be safe for 100,000 years. I spilled root beer on the kit even though the instructions clearly stated no food no drink near kit. I have removed the aa battery, but it is too late. There is no use crying over spilt uranium.
The president has come to survey the area. Jesus, he looks like a deer in headlights. One of his handlers proposes we build a concrete wall around the area. To keep out the mutants. And to advertise a casino the president gets kickbacks from. That anti-mutant son of a bitch. He hires them to save money. Luckily he was too close to the pile and he melted down. And sank toward China. Their problem now.
The president has risen from the sea as a weird prehistoric monster. He demands that he is “the real green new deal.” The ACLU complained a giant lizard could not be president, but the supreme court ruled otherwise. Typical.
The loyal opposition came. At the seashore. He came out strongly in favor of appeasement. He says giant mutant Republican presidents are not the problem, there have been very good ones. They are regular Joes. Like lobbyists. He says that only corporate acquiescence could help solve the true problem, which is that wealth distribution doesn’t work. And more prisons will help reduce bankruptcies.
He took some corporate cash. An infusion he shot in his arm like junk. Then he was destroyed by the president, accidentally, as he spoke of the many points of agreement he held with past.
Then the president smashed an insulin factory with his tail. He said he only respected diabetics who were not diabetic. He was given plenty of time on every major network and every minor network, which he ate right up.
Shockingly, he won his reelection bid against the only other viable candidate, viability being judged by the top media conglomerates, beating out in a landslide his opponent, the honorable Spuds McKenzie, corporate dog.
Frito-Lay brought back the Frito Bandito. The people’s attention slowly drifted away.
It will normalize. Like the market.
People will pay for the promise of escape.
The money is in the resistance.
This is normal now. Say it.
