David Raffin
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I got a bit about how I don’t understand the names that the baseball players have these days because they are ethnic in origin and the names are confusing to me because they sound like other words which I do know.
Stop me if you heard this before. Before I kill again.
I am in a relationship with two other comedians but it is rough going because it is a domestic violence situation and sometimes the three of us can really go at it rough. And when we do that people laugh instead of stopping the violence.
People say our spats are funny but I think it is the cummerbunds more so than the spats. That is what the last fight was about and it was a humdinger. But I do not mean to toot my own horn. Here.
Was explaining this to a talent agent right around the time a family came in. Dressed all nice. Fancy. But he sent them away because he didn’t represent dog acts. For ethical reasons. Wouldn’t want the ASPCA on his ass. They had a small Chihuahua and I can tell you show people don’t look too kindly on animal acts. For professional reasons. Could go either way. Also I believe the dog had been squirreled away from Mexico in a caravan and the goings-on on that trip defy description. There was a comedian who tried that once and they arrested him.
I don’t want to say more because I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot because I’m a hoofer. I dance around the subject but I strictly follow the union rules. As it pertains to live theater. Accepting the jugglers have to go balls out because it’s part of the act. I know people come to see the dancing girls. The comedian is only there to lend socially redeeming value. It’s all we have to offer.
politics
The naked truth.
I tell you I didn’t like school. First they would insist you dress up. And if you didn’t do that you would get a dressing down. Because they expected you to act against your own will, like it or no. So there was dressing up and there was dressing down but cross dressing was absolutely forbidden.
In the day.After a while I started to think they were making this all up. That was the beginning of my mental undressing. Which brings me to you people sitting here now. Unashamed.
Truth causes feeling hurt
The two party system is still arguing about the public square. Seems there are two sides to it.
Shoplifting. Any takers?
People want kids in school as long as they don’t teach them anything.
You can have your college course on nihilism as long as you don’t teach them kids nothing.
Fresh Laugh Tracks
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 4:05 — 5.6MB)
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This podcast is so important I recorded it on my phone.
My apologies to those I have yet to offend.
No apologies to those I have re-offended.
To those I have pre-arranged a future offense for, I await payment.
“Someone Else’s Memories” from the album “The Politics of Desire” by Revolution Void licensed under Creative Commons Attribution License 3.0.
Winner Winner! by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4630-winner-winner-
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Fuzzball Parade by Kevin MacLeod
Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/5044-fuzzball-parade
License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Grateful acknowledgment thereof.
Snack Pack
The convergence of porn in programming is right on the cusp. Right on the edge. Leaving people just… Wanting. For instance I was watching, turns out, a commercial for a cooking show. And I kept waiting for the announcer to remove their shirt. Then I realized it was a cooking promo. Then the announcer removed the shirt.
Better gaslighting on hold
Do you think we have it bad now? Do you understand that rooms used to be commonly gaslit? Rooms. Rooms. After dark your sitting room didn’t know whether it was coming or going.
Now that no one has a sitting room anymore every room is standing room only.
Whither the vestibule?
The economy is so diverse it includes the little piggy who goes to market AND the little piggy who has none, who is there to make the piggies in the middle “f-uncomfortable.”
The little piggy who goes to market blames it all on government pork, of course.
The swine.
The radical little piggy front has been infiltrated by the pigs.
Jimmy Dean is people.
Man is only the measure of all things because people developed a measuring system. But there are competing systems, and they are incompatible.
Fascists sing out of tune
A song of the fascist insurgents
Who flow in like a stream
They ransacked the capital
Living that wild dream
Happy they are
Happy they be
What’s in the future?
Who can foresee?
In defense of lawn order
With jockey statuary to match
They got all tore up
In that dang briar patch!
Just like that bluebird of happiness
A purchase in the tree
Who sings that catchy song
Called “Woe is me! Woe is me!“
They sing like canaries
Trapped in a coal mine, it’s a living
And the stool pigeons back it
Because those bird brains there
Haven’t figured out it’s all a racket.
Washington hellbillies
Let me tell you all a story ‘bout a man name Trump a simple minded bumpkin with a head full of fluff, he wouldn’t wear a mask now the Twitter corps says you can’t wish him ill because he is our fascist Prez.
The Naval base doctors gather around his sickness bed to determine if he is in or out of his head, it’s a difficult thing for a military doctor to declare because it all depends on the meaning of the word there.
He is well. He’s well. In fact he’s doing so gosh darn swell. He’s a pigheaded sturdy son of a gun that’s why we’ve had to put him on oxygen.
He’s well. He’s well. In fact he’s rather gosh darned swell. We’ve started him on steroids to correct his old hemorrhoids, it’s a comorbid condition as well.
Now when we said the president he would pull through, we said that because we’re messengers of his corporate crew, but to give the man the free will that is every man’s due we’re not absolutely entirely sure that’s completely true.
He’s well. He is well. In fact he’s extraordinarily swell. So we’ve upped the F’ing steroids which is a term we use in relation to how we administer them, And he’s doing extremely extraordinarily and fashionably well!
Do tell!