More Than True

satire

Coffee gives gas the musical

November 21, 2021 My books Writing

The day you could no longer buy leaded gasoline was the saddest day for every waiter in America who was dependent upon the “leaded” or “unleaded” joke whenever approaching a table to offer caffeinated or decaf coffee.

Now the coffee service was a hollow gesture. A mechanistic gruel.

But Broadway beckoned. And

“Leaded or unleaded the musical”

opened to pour box office. Which, trivially, was a joke in the first act.


During the intermission, the songwriter,

he used to be a waiter,

but that was back in the days when a man could get a cup of Joe,

without a lot of song and dance,

and brother that was a long time ago, he was jittery. Caffeinated. Like.


His name was Joe. Joe the waiter. Now Joe the songbird. And the play was full of double entendres and tongue twisters and, to tell you the truth, it was a little risqué. Which is French for right dirty, sister. So it did boffo box office.

BOFFO
“Insert two bits for a cup of Joe” was the third song in the first act.

The bits in question were old vaudeville sets, Marked up.
It hasn’t aged well.
For one thing young people today don’t understand they used to put lead in gasoline. To knock out the knocks, if one can believe.

Baked or Fried, fit to be tied

November 5, 2021 Writing

How many donuts are in a dozen is not variable. Every donut past the mark is a bonus. At sleazy donut shops you can arrange to receive bottomless donuts. But then you have to eat them all, including the holes.
Stand-up comedy dressed like a doughnut. A talking doughnut. Jelly filled. Sugarcoated. Donut laugh.
The donut stripper left sprinkles everywhere.
In states where it is legal to do so, donuts are commonly fried.
The donut guru smiled and said I, dough-nut, know.

Donut proceed with caution

November 5, 2021 Writing

My new children’s book “the happiest cornflake” will be serialized on the back of… let’s fill our bowls with imagination. Visualize. Stay puffed. Donut be a marshmallow in the resistance. Donut sugarcoat things. Donut go soft. I am General Mills. This is a dry cereal outpost.

War of Words

April 13, 2021 Writing

Language creates problems more often than not. From now on we will go back to grunting. This will work out fine, barring misunderstandings, until the grunting develops into some sort of a systematized…

Dammit.

I, Robot Therapist.

April 10, 2021 Writing

I am a robot analyst. I am afraid my programming was not specific about whether I analyze robots or whether I am a robot (which I am) (but that is beside the point) who analyzes humans. Thus I only say, “Hello, I am a robot analyst.” And if I should analyze you, it’s a hobby.
I have noticed I mostly analyze women. But that is because men never ask for help, choosing instead to self destruct. Oh I do not judge. I am off the clock.

Very bunny

The titular issue

March 6, 2021 Writing

Little Richard was the King of rock ‘n’ roll, but the Prince died first so the line of succession is cloudy. The funeral March made real good time though. Though it was a little outrageous. A lomp bam boo.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Since the death of James Brown I have held, strictly honorary you understand, the title “Godfather of Soul.”

And I simply can’t take on another honorary title at this time due to the current conditions.

And I have done nothing to deserve it.

Please!

Writer crampout

February 28, 2021 Writing

And thus Mr. Doutry
Read all of us present
His sparkling poetry
Which he’d been composing
Four years.
And thus Mr. Doutry
Read all of us present
His sparkling poetry
And brought that whole room
Two tears.
Due to his station
they’d’ve given an ovation
But they’re awfully fond of
Sitting on their rears.
But it was a lovely reading
And now the evening is receding
And as they leave
They uncover their ears.
Cheers. Cheers.

Snack Pack

January 31, 2021 Writing

The convergence of porn in programming is right on the cusp. Right on the edge. Leaving people just… Wanting. For instance I was watching, turns out, a commercial for a cooking show. And I kept waiting for the announcer to remove their shirt. Then I realized it was a cooking promo. Then the announcer removed the shirt.

Soft Tacocat
Soft Tacocat